So guys, today I found myself in that familiar situation where I’m on the bus and I see a girl who looks friendly and attractive and find myself thinking “I wonder what would happen if I had the chance to get to know her.” That’s ignoring the fact that I have no opportunity to talk to her and certainly nothing to say. I ponder this for a moment, and then look a second time. And realise she’s with a guy and they look like they’re together. Like “together” together. And my immediate next thought is “Well what the heck use is she to me now?!”
Of course, naturally I reprimand myself for making the implication that getting to know a girl is pointless if it’s not for the sake of going out with her. But then I respond to myself with the point that if I can’t go out with her, then I don’t need to get to know her! I have enough friends! I need more friends about as much as I need a lambourghini for my tangerine! If I make any more friends then my head will explode and all the little pieces of debris floating through the air will delay all flights in and out of the country for the next six weeks. I can’t have more friends, because my address book is full, and the only way I’m allowed to make more friends is if I erase some of the friends I already have, and selecting who to disown would be an incredibly long and tedious process that I don’t have the energy for.
After pondering these thoughts for about five minutes, the thought occurs to me that I don’t even possess a tangerine! And if I did buy a lambourghini, in the unlikely event that I had that amount of money and already owned every single thing that I want more than I want a lambourghini, I would buy it for myself, not for some randomly selected product from my fruit bowl that’s been empty for the past three weeks anyway!
At about this point, I realise how ridiculous this train of thought has become…