I think we can all agree that if a supermarket were designed with only male customers in mind, the result may be more than a little different to the result we see in most supermarkets we visit. It is my belief that a man’s needs in a supermarket are simple. And I’m not talking about some all-encompassing image of a man, if you’re metrosexual then sorry, this won’t be the supermarket for you. I’m talking about a Man’s Supermarket as if it were designed by the only handyman worth mentioning: Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor. But as Tim Taylor hasn’t done such a design to date, here’s how I think he’d do it:
- The main focus of the supermarket would be meat. There would be a circular butchery right in the middle of the supermarket floor, so men could have 360 degree access to their protein needs. There would be no deli/cold meats section. If you need something for your sandwich, then look beyond the need for shaved ham and have them flame kiss a steak for you right on site!
- There would be no produce labyrinth to navigate in order to get to the rest of the supermarket! Huge bins full of potatoes would be right by the front door, that’s the only vegetable you need (yes ladies, potato is a vegetable, I don’t care what science says).
- There would only be one brand of most products. No one really cares what the difference is between two kinds of baked beans that were probably packaged in the same factory in some foreign country anyway! The amount of space that would be saved by only having one brand of everything would mean that instead of aisles, there would simply be four walls of shelving all facing in towards the butchery.
- One of these walls would be refrigerated, containing important cold items like full fat milk, cheese & onion dip, 5kg blocks of cheese and of course: beer.
- The checkout system would be simplified. It would be based on the “one queue for many checkouts” system used in some supermarkets, but the process would be further streamlined by only employing checkout assistants who are old enough to sell you beer, and replacing the receipt (which we never read) with a system whereby your wife is sent an email listing mostly fruits and vegetables as the products purchased.
Does anyone have any further ideas? Did I miss anything??? There would of course be a video store adjacent…